Dr. Barnaby "Good Boy" Woofington, Licensed Therapist

YOUR PET HAS CONCERNS.

Your pet has opinions about your life choices. Find out what they are.

How It Works

Upload a Photo

Show us your pet giving you "the look."

The Session Begins

Dr. Barnaby reviews the evidence.

Get Your Report

A full psychological profile — from your pet's perspective.

Patient: The Human

Chronic Couch Indent Syndrome

The Report

I have been observing my human for approximately 847 days. The findings are concerning. Every evening at precisely 6:14pm, the couch cushion receives more affection than I do. There is an indent. It has a name now. I believe the human calls it "my spot."

The refrigerator opens eleven times per day. Only twice does food emerge. The other nine are what I can only describe as "hope audits." I smell leftover Thai from Tuesday. It is now Saturday. This is not a meal plan. This is a cry for help.

I will say this: the belly rubs have been consistent. Tuesdays and Thursdays, 9pm, during the show with the dramatic music. The technique is adequate. Not inspired, but adequate. I have filed no formal complaints.

Prescription

"The dog park. Saturday. No excuses. I need to network and you need sunlight. Also, that plant on the windowsill deserves an apology and a glass of water. It has been three weeks. I counted."

Your session report arrives in ~60 seconds. Upload your pet's photo below ↓

3 Free Sessions — No credit card required.

Begin Your Session

Upload a photo of your pet. Dr. Barnaby will take it from here.